Note: This poem is not intended to be factual - for product details, prices and availability you should search Amazon.com for "My Electric Toothbrush Keeps Turning Itself on Oral B" (affiliate link)
Oh, my electric toothbrush, my faithful friend,
But lately, you’ve been acting oddly, indeed,
For when I place you down, I hear a humm begin,
And soon enough, you start to turn yourself on and in.
At first, I thought it was a glitch, a mere coincidence,
But now, I fear this issue may persist and be persistent,
For though I try to leave you still, as calm as can be,
You seem to have a mind of your own, my dear electric glee.
Perhaps, my friend, you think I need your help once more,
But what could be the reason for this peculiar chore?
Is it that you want to clean my teeth, despite my sleepy head?
Or could it be that you simply crave some company instead?
Whatever the reason may be, I must admit,
Your sudden urge to turn yourself on is quite absurd and fit,
For I can hardly blame you for wanting to help,
But please, my dear Oral-B, let us save this act for mornings’ swell.
For though I appreciate your zeal and willingness to serve,
Your turning on yourself, in the dead of night, is quite a quirk,
And though I’m grateful for your assistance, I’d rather have my rest,
For tomorrow, I’ll be back, with a smile, and ready to address.
So, my dear electric toothbrush, please, hear my plea,
And save your professional timer, for the light of day, I pray,
For I’d rather not wake up to find you’ve been cleaning all night,
But instead, let us wait for the sun, and start our routine right.
In the end, my dear Oral-B, I’ll leave you with this thought,
That though you may turn yourself on, in the wee hours of the morn,
Your act of kindness, I’ll remember, and be grateful,
But please, my dear electric toothbrush, for the sake of my slumber,
Let us wait for the day, and then, let us brush, with no more bother.
At first, I chalked it up to ghostly tricks,
Perhaps thy soul was moved by spooky vibes?
But no, my toothy comrade hath another fix,
A faulty circuit, I suspect, ‘neath thy vibes.
The batteries drain with hasty depletion,
Thou leavest me no time to contemplate,
My mind hath turned to thoughts of desperate solution,
I fear my smile may fade ‘ere I shall wait.
I’ve searched through manuals ’til my eyes did weep,
Yet naught can quell this frenzied, phantom creep.
Oh trusty Oral-B, why dost thou repeat?
This vicious cycle shall not sleep nor sleep.
Perhaps thy timeless ticker hath malfunctioned,
Perchance ’tis paranormal energy, perhaps?
But still I search for solace undelivered,
This issue must be tackled, ere I slip off slap.
I’ve scoured thy settings ’til my sanity wanes,
But nothing seems to calm thy wondrously wild heart.
Oh my electric toothbrush, thou art but pains,
But thou shalt yield thy secrets, by mine cart.
For I shall fix thee, oh thy fanciful friend,
For ’tis my heart’s desire, my smile to lend.
Oh Oral-B, thou shalt be no longer bane,
But a trusted companion, again and again.
Note: This poem is not intended to be factual - for product details, prices and availability you should search Amazon.com for "My Electric Toothbrush Keeps Turning Itself on Oral B" (affiliate link)