Note: This poem is not intended to be factual - for product details, prices and availability you should search Amazon.com for "Quip Toothbrush Not Turning On" (affiliate link)
Oh woe, oh despair, oh plight so dire,
When once again your Quip toothbrush won’t fire,
The light no longer blinks, the motor hushes,
Your teeth remain uncleaned, unbrushed by any muscles.
At first, it seemed like simple battery drain,
An issue easily resolved by charging again,
But days have passed since then, and still it won’t obey,
Your toothbrush lies still, a soulless plastic toy arrayed.
The company won’t help, for such is their ploy,
To force you into buying yet another device joyous,
They claim it’s out of warranty, and now you’re out of luck,
But fret not, dear reader, for here’s a handy truck.
The troubleshooting guide from Quip’s own website,
Offers solutions to your Quip’s sudden night,
The LED light won’t turn on? Clean and dry the port,
Dirt or moisture may cause it to short, or merely snort.
But if the motor’s dead, then there’s no use in crying,
Resetting the brush by holding down the power button dying,
Might do the trick, but if not, then fear not, dear friend,
For here’s a guide on how to fix your Quip toothbrush till the end.
First, gently pull the head off in a slight arc motion,
(Don’t snap it directly backward, or your fingers will be dislocated),
Remove the motor and battery, and then examine,
For any damage or defects that may have arisen.
Clean the connectors, check the wiring,
Replace any faulty parts, as your dental health is worthier,
Than some cheap toothbrush that breaks at the slightest whim,
And costs you a fortune in replacements and lost smiles grim.
So, dear reader, if your Quip toothbrush won’t turn on,
Don’t despair, for help is at hand, and hope’s not gone,
Take heart, for with patience, skill, and a little sweat,
You’ll fix your Quip toothbrush, and once again clean your debt.
But what happens when this marvel of tech,
Refuses to turn on, leaving us bereft,
We’re left with a battery-powered tooth,
A primitive way to keep our teeth smooth.
The first thing we do is try to diagnose,
Why our Quip won’t start, we scrutinize the pores,
We check the charging cable, is it frayed,
Is the toothbrush plugged in, is it disarrayed?
If the toothbrush is charged, we then inspect,
The brush head, for any signs of defect,
We try a different head, but still, it’s dead,
Our oral health is left in disarray, dread.
We ponder, is it the battery, that’s at fault,
We swap it out, with a new piece to bold,
But still, the Quip refuses to start,
Our oral hygiene is now, in a state of aart.
We search for answers, in the Quip FAQs,
We read about the battery, the charging routines,
We follow the instructions, but still, it’s not alive,
Our teeth are now left, with no sign of the hive.
We turn to customer reviews, for a clue,
Some have reported, a similar woe,
Perhaps there’s a defect, in the Quip factory,
Our oral hygiene is now, a catastrophe.
We turn to the QUIP, as a last resort,
Their buzzing sound, keeps us in a mort,
We try to shut it off, but it won’t cease,
Our oral hygiene, is now, a piece of cheese.
We’re left with a toothbrush, that won’t turn on,
Our oral hygiene, is now in a jungle of a ton,
We ponder, should we return it, or replace it,
Our oral hygiene, is now, in a constant state of rape.
Note: This poem is not intended to be factual - for product details, prices and availability you should search Amazon.com for "Quip Toothbrush Not Turning On" (affiliate link)